Bad things can happen to good people too...

"Why so cynical Anthony?" I hear you ask 

I prefer to call it being a 'realist'. I am a positive and upbeat guy (most of the time) and bad things still happen to me. When I look at myself in the mirror I see a good person, not a perfect one, but a good one. Actually, I see a magnificent Man, but I digress...

Sure, I make mistakes and like many folks I have had my share of disappointments. But unlike plenty out there, I accept my mistakes and when something goes wrong I am not looking to blame others and play the victim! 

What happened to personal responsibility?

Somewhere along the way, this happened...do you remember the 80s? I do and I remember hearing about a bloke who tripped over on a damaged concrete footpath. He simply laughed at himself, as he was uninjured "you clumsy bastard" he thought, and he carried on his way. There were no mobile phones then, so when he got to work he telephoned the local council, after finding their phone number in the yellow pages, and reported the damage to the footpath. A few days later and the path was repaired. The bloke told himself to watch where he was walking next time and life went on.

Fast forward to the present day and that same event, even though very minor IMO would provide employment for a great many people, none of whom would be involved in the repair of the footpath. Somebody would need to be blamed, the legal system would become involved, images of the evil footpath would be posted on social media, oh and a contractor would be engaged to visit the site and paint the crack in the footpath yellow...when did we lose our sense of personal responsibility?

And before I get attacked for being heartless, I am talking about a minor incident, with no injury, other than to a person's pride. 

Personally, my advice to these people is accept the fact that bad things can happen and focus on owning and accepting personal responsibility when they do. I realise that someone who has always been a 'victim' will ignore this, and that's because they have not, nor will not 'own' their mistakes...

What I refer to as... "attempt and learn" not "attempt and fail"

We are human beings, which means we make mistakes. The key is to learn from the experience. I would rather attempt something and learn from it, than treat it as a failure. It's the reason I say things like "everyday really is a schoolday!" Each and everyday, if you can learn something, even the smallest thing, about yourself, those around you, the World, that has to be a good day. Doesn't it?

After 47 years I found my biological father and he never knew I existed...

How did I do it?

We will get to that shortly, but first I need to clarify something and make a brief statement in regards to my past...

Regular readers of my blog would know that I am an adoptee. Put simply, I was born in 1971 and for reasons best known to those responsible, at a very young age my biological mother put me up for adoption. Now, don't worry, I'm not bitter or angry about that and I never have been. Decisions were made and as ever I have kept moving forward! 

A statement of fact...

I was raised by Dawn and John (mum & dad), who gave me the best childhood any boy could ask for. I grew up in a house full of love, laughter and charity. We got to travel to many different places, we went caravanning and boating. I was taught the value of respect, courtesy and manners, you know all the things that are now referred to as 'old skool'. And there were serious consequences when I f#cked up, just as there should have been! This blog post in no way de-values any of that...what's past is prologue.

I had a fantastic childhood...fun times

I had a fantastic childhood...fun times

With Father's Day just around the corner here in Australia, I want to make special mention of my Dad, whose name is John. Dad, even though we have not spoken for many years, I love you, now, ever and always. You are my Dad and I have continued to treat and raise my children with all the love and warmth you showed me. The fact that I have found my biological father does not lessen my love for you in anyway.

 

DNA testing and planets aligning

I found my biological father because I undertook a DNA test using ancestry.com and I agreed to have my results compared with others on their Worldwide database, but that was not the reason for completing it. I simply wanted to know about my genetics and my cultural background. Fortunately, another person completed the DNA test too, because she had unanswered questions about her family. And that is where the planets aligned. Had she not completed the test, I would never of known who my biological father is, as no one else from her side of the family had done it...cue the twilight zone theme.

When a phone call can change your life

The results of the DNA testing are very comprehensive, with a breakdown of genetic / cultural background provided. In my case, 50% Irish and 50% German, which helps explain my sense of humour, my borderline OCD and the need to over - engineer everything, but I digress.

A month or so had passed after receiving my results, and hearing nothing about possible matches I was resigned to knowing I had a little more information about myself than I did before. A few days later and my life changed, for the better, forever.

I received an email from ancestry.com informing me that I had a match with a person whose name I did not recognise. Several emails were exchanged and she explained there must have been some sort of mistake, as she did not recognise my last name and she was sorry. Oh well I thought, so be it...pity, as she seemed like a very nice lady.

With nothing to lose, I explained my background to her, that I was an adoptee, where I was born and who my biological mother was. A few days later, she contacted me again, this time via txt message and asked me if I was happy to chat.

I decided to call her and introduce myself. Her reply will stay with me forever "Good afternoon Anthony, I am pretty sure I know the identity of your biological father. It is my brother and his name is Michael!"

She went on to explain that Michael had a relationship with Sue, my biological mother in 1970 and that Sue had moved away from the area. She did not tell Michael she was pregnant.

Moving forward...one day at a time

So, just over 47 years after my birth, I spoke with my biological father for the very first time. And yes it was fantastic. Finding out where my passion for communicating comes from and my love of motorcycling, details of my 'biological relatives' and all that sort of thing.

Readers, meet Michael...

Readers, meet Michael...

 

We have spoken many times since and he came to my house a little while ago, meeting my Wife and children for the first time. He has a family of his own and we hope to organise a get together later this year. Now, imagine how it must be, not only for Michael, but his family? Quite a shock? You could say that!

 

 

Taking things one day at a time sounds good to me...

For those of you who are not adopted, it may be difficult to understand what this news has meant to me. The best way I can describe it, is like this. Imagine you're attempting to complete a 50 000 piece jigsaw puzzle and it's taken you 47 years. No matter how often you try and complete the puzzle, there are pieces missing. You don't think about it everyday, yet when you do, it gets to you. Life gets in the way, and days turn into months and years and you have now accepted you will never complete this masterpiece, it is just one of those things. Then, when you least expect it, you find the missing pieces.

And what a great day that is!

I have explained to Michael that I was raised by wonderful people, in a house filled with love, but I guess he in some way feels like he has missed out? There is nothing I can do to change that, other than to reassure him that it's ok, I understand it is a difficult thing to have to work through, for him and his family. This is not about trying to alter what is in the past, rather, a chance to discover new things and keep moving forward. And to my Aunty, thanks for deciding to visit ancestry.com and complete a DNA test...amazing!

I really am truly blessed, because I have a Dad and a Father. I have been raised by a beautiful Man and given the genetic gifts from another.

To John and Michael, from the bottom of my heart, Happy Father's Day to you both. 

Your Son could not be happier.

 

 

 

 

 

The start of something big...

What happened?

Firstly, I must apologise for not posting since 2016. Life has definitely gotten in the way and I have nothing to say except 'sorry'.

Now that's out of the way...those of you who follow me on Instagram will have seen I have created a YouTube channel. I have posted my first video and it is amazing just how much time it takes to produce just under 8 minutes of quality HD video.

A heartfelt thank you to my children and my little Sister for the inspiration and to my Wife for her support. She (my Wife) is by her own admission 'not very tech savvy' but her support is nevertheless appreciated.

I have an awesome technical support team, responsible for channel design and video editing. Content development is ongoing and I must say a huge thanks to my Daughter for all her hard work on this. Yes, the TST comprises of one very talented, almost 15 year old.

Being me...

This post is really just a way of letting my loyal readers and followers know that I do still exist and that 2017 is going to be the start of something big for The Original Sy.

When it is all said and done I have a steady paying job and I work and have worked with some truly amazing people. I have heard that it is a job that others 'dream of', yet for me it is not as much fun as it once was.

After almost 18 years, I now find myself longing to just 'be me'. Much of my job involves 'make believe' and at times resembles a bizarre pantomime, where I assume a role in order to play my part. I believe I am very good at my job, but it is just that 'a job'.

It is not me, it is my job!

I wear my uniform with pride, but it does not define me. I'd much rather grow my beard and drift back into civilian life, sometimes looking up when I hear a siren, but not feeling my heartbeat a little faster at the sound...that will be nice!

My plan is to focus and build on my strengths, my ability to communicate and to make people laugh without the burden of the dreaded PC brigade. I realise I cannot go back, so I'm doing my very best to move forward.

My 46th Birthday is drawing ever closer and perhaps it is the realisation that I have fewer years of my career in front than behind, either way I have decided to put myself first!

A beautiful sunset I captured on my Samsung s6edge

A beautiful sunset I captured on my Samsung s6edge

My future starts now...

My name is Anthony and I am a great communicator, with an ability to make others laugh. If you're looking for someone to MC your next event or provide you with quality voice over material subscribe to my blog or DM me via Instagram. You will not be disappointed.

To my friends and work colleagues, The Original Sy is still here and is getting on with the business of self fulfillment and personal happiness.

I strongly advise you to take every step necessary to do the same!

Happy Father's Day

Becoming a Dad is easy, but being a good one is a little tougher...

Many years ago, I was told "any imbecile can become a Dad, the toughest part is being a good one!" I took notice of this advice and over the years it has been demonstrated to me time and time again. I have seen Men succeed and fail as they attempted to be good Dads.

Perhaps they are simply doing things the way their Father's did, or they have seen other Dads and tried to emulate them. Maybe it is because they have absolutely no idea what they are doing and simply don't care.

Personally, and as I much prefer to keep things simple, there are only good and bad Dads! Some have the best intentions, try their best and fail and there are those who simply don't seem to care. A good Dad understands his strengths, but most importantly, he understands his weaknesses.

What makes a good Dad?

As it is Father's Day here in Australia tomorrow, what better time could there be to announce Sy's guide to being a good Dad. Over the years I have discovered that by following these simple principles you too can be a good Dad. No one (including me) says it is going to be easy, in fact sometimes it feels like it is the toughest thing you will ever do.

You will only get out, what you put in...

Obviously, this applies to many things in life and Fatherhood is no exception. If you do not apply yourself and put the effort in, the end result will be less than you had hoped. You may be in a dreadful mood, just come home from work or seen an appallingly biased advertisement on the television portraying Men as violent and dreadful creatures (sorry I digress) and your kids want to share what they did today with you.

Do you politely explain that you are tired and ask them to give you a while to relax and you will listen to them later? Perhaps you just scream at them and shake your head because they have no idea how you feel.

A good Dad understands that children model their behaviours on what they see and hear. If you cannot be bothered to take the time and listen to your kids do you think they will then listen to you when you ask them something? Explain your actions to them and lead by positive example.

This being a good Dad gig is tough guys, make no mistake about it.

Be consistent...always

Regardless of how many children you have, you must be consistent when you say and do things. If you tell your children to be in bed by 9pm, then stick to it. It's not 9.15 tonight and 9.20 tomorrow, it is 9pm! It is up to you to maintain this type of consistency, because if you do not your child / children will take advantage of you. They will see that Dad can be manipulated and they get away with it. What other things will they try and get away with?

What you give, you shall receive...

If you scream at your kids, they will scream at you.

If you talk over the top of them, they will do the same to you.

If you drive your car like you stole it and abuse other road users...yes, you guessed it guys, they will do the same when they start driving.

Teach them the importance of respect...

For self and for others. Take pride in your appearance (sorry but only some of us can have Salon Quality Hair) and show your kids that this is important. If they are to succeed in whatever they decide to do, it is up to you to demonstrate the importance of respect from a very early age. If they make a mistake or do the wrong thing, get them to apologise. We all make mistakes and it is important that a good Dad leads the way and respects self and others.

Loudest doesn't win...

Sure, sometimes you need to raise your voice. But, being the loudest does not make you right and somehow 'the winner'. Take the time to listen to your kids. It is OK to have disagreements about things from time to time, but you are in charge Dad...got that? You are the adult. Show your child the right way to conduct a conversation and how to get their point across without insults or 'screaming'.

And, as you have probably guessed by now, if you scream at your kids all the time, then they will scream at you! You set the behaviours for them to model. Good Dads don't argue with children. Some things can be negotiated, but it is important that your child understands that not everything is open for negotiation.

It is repetitious and the theme is constant guys, but if your child can undermine your authority they will simply do what they can get away with. And if they do not respect you and your authority from a young age, what do you think will happen when they get a little older?

Choice and consequence...

Your kids need to understand that with every choice comes a consequence. Good choices = good consequences, and of course the reverse is also true. The important thing here is to let them know what those consequences will be, either good or bad.

Say what you mean and mean what you say!

I have saved the best for last and if you fail to do this, you will never be a good Dad. Here are a few simple examples:-

"If you continue to speak poorly to your Mother, you will not have any computer privileges tonight." Your Daughter fails to do this and she has no computer time that evening. Excellent, you are on your way to being a good Dad. Your Daughter apologises to your Wife and reads a book instead.

"I'm going to count to five and if you are not sitting down for dinner you will not be playing soccer tomorrow" By the way guys, I cannot stand this type of thing because it is so often misused, but anyway, let's look at what can happen...

Your child is still lying on the lounge after 5 minutes of asking and you are now screaming at them and they finally get up and sit down at the table for dinner. Your child thinks it is hilarious, which just makes you cross and you have now forgotten all about the threatened punishment...they play soccer the next day!

Are you a good Dad?

Well I believe I am. I'm by no means perfect, nor do I want to be. We are human beings and we all make mistakes. The way we handle those issues and keep moving forward is what defines us as Dads.

I want to wish all the Dads and Fathers a truly Happy Father's Day and know that it is one of the toughest jobs in the World. We owe it to our kids to all be good Dads...don't we?

Look what I found in Western Sydney...

There's so much more to Sydney than just the harbour...

Nepean River gorge captured from my kayak, looking South...

Nepean River gorge captured from my kayak, looking South...

Sometimes traveling away from where we live lets us appreciate just what is right at our doorstep. How many times have you been on a holiday, only to come back and spend a little time closer to home and discover something so beautiful less than 5 minutes from home?

I decided to dust off the kayak and head out onto the beautiful Nepean River and it was well worth the effort. During the week the waterway is at it's quietest, as the weekends see plenty of water skiers and jet ski pilots enjoying themselves.

Incredibly, I did not see another human being on the river and I was on my boat for a little over two hours. And that is the amazing thing, the busy M4 motorway crosses the river with thousands of vehicles traversing the crossing daily, I was only 10 minutes from the busy Penrith CBD and Sydney city is about an hour away by car (actually that would be at about 2am) but you get the idea!

So there are places in Sydney I can go, spend hours there having a great time and it's free?

Yes, there are literally hundreds of them. Fortunately for me I am close enough to the River that I can carry the boat there, without having to drive which is great.

Eastern side of the Gorge...I took this as the caves up near the top provided Bushrangers with a place to hide from authorities in the 1800s. How cool is that?

Eastern side of the Gorge...I took this as the caves up near the top provided Bushrangers with a place to hide from authorities in the 1800s. How cool is that?

You can take your time and enjoy the waterway when you're on a kayak. It's quiet which means the birds and wildlife don't seem to mind you being there. I found it almost therapeutic, just listening to the breeze and the sounds of the water gently hitting the rocks. If you decide to paddle faster, add the sound of yourself gasping for air to that won't you...

I chose late morning for my adventure and the conditions were perfect. I was surprised to discover that my phone got better reception out on the water than it does at home which I found amusing. The toughest part was knowing that I had to turn around at some stage and head back North, unfortunately life gets in the way sometimes doesn't it?

The Nepean is a freshwater river and further North it joins the Hawkesbury, eventually flowing into the Sea North of Sydney. Of course, if you don't have a boat you can enjoy the beautiful river walk. Park on the Eastern side, grab a coffee and choose the direction you wish to take. The path is fully sealed and it's about a 7km stroll. One of the many benefits to the walk is the River is visible for most of it. A new footbridge is under construction and will be completed by Christmas (and yes I have not stated which Christmas...it is a Government project after all).

Heading North...a slight Southerly making the return paddle a little easier.

Heading North...a slight Southerly making the return paddle a little easier.

Or if you don't have a kayak, why not try a bushwalk?

The Knapsack Gully Viaduct is one of many historically significant structures in Western Sydney and just like the river, it's easy to get to and free to enjoy. Originally used as a railway line and later the Great Western Highway, now it forms part of the many walking tracks in the local area.

"they don't make 'em like this anymore" came to mind as I shot this...

"they don't make 'em like this anymore" came to mind as I shot this...

I don't claim to be a travel writer, I just took a water bottle, dressed appropriately for the conditions, made sure I had my phone and headed off. There are plenty of sites you can visit on the web related to both the Nepean river and Knapsack bridge and I have included a few links later in this blog.

What I want to encourage you to do is get out in your local area and become an urban explorer. Wherever you reside, I'll bet there are some places of beauty waiting for you to explore, be they natural or man-made.

So what are you waiting for?

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nepean_River

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lapstone_Zig_Zag

https://www.visitpenrith.com.au/

How I Came To Be... The Original Sy

It was a dark stormy night, well ok it was day time, the Sun was out but it was a little windy so it is kind of true...

I've never really had a nickname, which may or may not be a good thing. I certainly have never given myself one, as that would be not only disastrous, it would make me a hypocrite!

As I am sure you are all aware, a few years ago a young man burst onto the music scene all the way from South Korea and his name sounds similar to my nickname. An entertainer I may be, but a Korean singer I am not, so one of my very good friends came up with a suitable alternative.

I know, you're just dying to discover how my nickname came to be but stick with me folks, we are almost there...

Giving other people nicknames is strangely something I have been able to do for many years. Often after meeting them for the first time, I notice a mannerism or character trait they possess and voila! The Sy has given them a nickname.

Sometimes these have stayed with them and other times they have fallen by the wayside, so it goes I guess.

The Original Sy was bestowed upon me by my very good friend Jimmy. I'm sure he won't mind me mentioning him in this post and after all it is he who came up with my nickname.

I have never asked him for the how and why of it, as I'd rather focus on living up to it. Personally, I like to think it is because I make folks laugh... maybe I actually entertain them too?

What I like is the simplicity of it, combining the first and last letters of my last name. Sometimes attempting to over-analyse things is just a waste of time and what matters to me is that a very good friend of mine has given me a nickname I am proud to call my own... thanks Jimmy.

And readers, in case you are wondering I did try and take myself seriously but it lasted for about 7 minutes and I decided instead to just be me. With all the madness in the world today, I think I will choose to smile and laugh where possible and maybe I can help others do the same!

 

 

Nicknames, and why you never give yourself one!

I have often said this out loud and for free, so why not say it again...don't ever give yourself a nickname and then use it.

This advice may well have arrived to late to save you and if that's the case I am truly sorry. The only thing that could compound this heinous error is if you are now actually using that nickname.

Still not sure? Well, if this next example doesn't convince you then all may be lost. Some years ago I knew a guy who decided he wanted to be called Ace, after the movie character played by Jim Carrey. He let everyone know of this, even those who could not have cared less and to re-affirm it he had the word 'ACE' on his licence plate. Is it just me or do you also find this to be one of the saddest things you have ever heard?

Not only did he in no way resemble the character or look like him, his Herculean efforts to have folks refer to him as ace merely alienated him from his work mates and he quickly gained the moniker 'knob'. In hindsight, that was one of the nicest things he was ever called...if I'm honest.

All because this guy chose to give himself a nickname and then use it. Fortunately readers all is not lost and to prove it here are a few examples of nicknames, given to people by others.

Florist - makes his own arrangements

Lighthouse - never goes out after dark

Google - just ask, he's got an answer for everything. This is one of my personal favorites, as I was the one who gave it to the guy in question. I am pleased to report it has stayed with him over the years and I understand he introduces himself as 'google'. And remember, that's OK he did not give himself the nickname, someone else did.

Napoleon - behaves like an Emperor toward others, stout in stature, possibly drunk on power and leaves anyone he meets in no doubt...he believes he is an Emperor.

Special Forces - given to a very good friend of mine who has not served in the military, but is made of the 'right stuff'

Blisters - someone who never does any work and often hides when needed

Wheelbarrow - will work and contribute...but has to be pushed

Lantern - always needs to be carried

Now, to further illustrate the truly horrific consequences of giving yourself a nickname I need to share the following with you. A guy introduces himself as 'Deck'. He even wears a name badge with this emblazoned on it. And if that is not bad enough, he was last seen wearing a work shirt with 'DECK' monogrammed on it in capital letters. Remember folks, you guessed it, this guy gave himself this nickname and I confess it is one of the saddest things I have ever seen. His Christian name is not Deck and to be honest I think it's a cry for help...but I'm not a psychiatrist so I shall leave it up to you to decide for yourselves.

So what makes a good nickname? Well under no circumstances should you give yourself one and then use it. Sure, a little sarcasm doesn't hurt and remember that often it is your friends and work colleagues letting you know they have a sense of humor too.

And for those frizzy haired sandal enthusiasts who have had to stop holding hands while singing Kumbaya and deem nicknames to be a dreadful manifestation of harassment and mans inhumanity to his fellow man...lighten up people.

After all, what's in a name?