After 47 years I found my biological father and he never knew I existed...

How did I do it?

We will get to that shortly, but first I need to clarify something and make a brief statement in regards to my past...

Regular readers of my blog would know that I am an adoptee. Put simply, I was born in 1971 and for reasons best known to those responsible, at a very young age my biological mother put me up for adoption. Now, don't worry, I'm not bitter or angry about that and I never have been. Decisions were made and as ever I have kept moving forward!

A statement of fact...

I was raised by Dawn and John (mum & dad), who gave me the best childhood any boy could ask for. I grew up in a house full of love, laughter and charity. We got to travel to many different places, we went caravanning and boating. I was taught the value of respect, courtesy and manners, you know all the things that are now referred to as 'old skool'. And there were serious consequences when I f#cked up, just as there should have been! This blog post in no way de-values any of that...what's past is prologue.

With Father's Day just around the corner here in Australia, I want to make special mention of my Dad, whose name is John. Dad, even though we have not spoken for many years, I love you, now, ever and always. You are my Dad and I have continued to treat and raise my children with all the love and warmth you showed me. The fact that I have found my biological father does not lessen my love for you in anyway.

DNA testing and planets aligning

I found my biological father because I undertook a DNA test using ancestry.com and I agreed to have my results compared with others on their Worldwide database, but that was not the reason for completing it. I simply wanted to know about my genetics and my cultural background. Fortunately, another person completed the DNA test too, because she had unanswered questions about her family. And that is where the planets aligned. Had she not completed the test, I would never of known who my biological father is, as no one else from her side of the family had done it...cue the twilight zone theme.

When a phone call can change your life

The results of the DNA testing are very comprehensive, with a breakdown of genetic / cultural background provided. In my case, 50% Irish and 50% German, which helps explain my sense of humour, my borderline OCD and the need to over - engineer everything, but I digress.

A month or so had passed after receiving my results, and hearing nothing about possible matches I was resigned to knowing I had a little more information about myself than I did before. A few days later and my life changed, for the better, forever.

I received an email from ancestry.com informing me that I had a match with a person whose name I did not recognise. Several emails were exchanged and she explained there must have been some sort of mistake, as she did not recognise my last name and she was sorry. Oh well I thought, so be it...pity, as she seemed like a very nice lady.

With nothing to lose, I explained my background to her, that I was an adoptee, where I was born and who my biological mother was. A few days later, she contacted me again, this time via txt message and asked me if I was happy to chat.

I decided to call her and introduce myself. Her reply will stay with me forever "Good afternoon Anthony, I am pretty sure I know the identity of your biological father. It is my brother and his name is Michael!"

She went on to explain that Michael had a relationship with Sue, my biological mother in 1970 and that Sue had moved away from the area. She did not tell Michael she was pregnant.

Moving forward...one day at a time

So, just over 47 years after my birth, I spoke with my biological father for the very first time. And yes it was fantastic. Finding out where my passion for communicating comes from and my love of motorcycling, details of my 'biological relatives' and all that sort of thing.

We have spoken many times since and he came to my house a little while ago, meeting my Wife and children for the first time. He has a family of his own and we hope to organise a get together later this year. Now, imagine how it must be, not only for Michael, but his family? Quite a shock? You could say that!

Taking things one day at a time sounds good to me...

For those of you who are not adopted, it may be difficult to understand what this news has meant to me. The best way I can describe it, is like this. Imagine you're attempting to complete a 50 000 piece jigsaw puzzle and it's taken you 47 years. No matter how often you try and complete the puzzle, there are pieces missing. You don't think about it everyday, yet when you do, it gets to you. Life gets in the way, and days turn into months and years and you have now accepted you will never complete this masterpiece, it is just one of those things. Then, when you least expect it, you find the missing pieces.

And what a great day that is!

I have explained to Michael that I was raised by wonderful people, in a house filled with love, but I guess he in some way feels like he has missed out? There is nothing I can do to change that, other than to reassure him that it's ok, I understand it is a difficult thing to have to work through, for him and his family. This is not about trying to alter what is in the past, rather, a chance to discover new things and keep moving forward. And to my Aunty, thanks for deciding to visit ancestry.com and complete a DNA test...amazing!

I really am truly blessed, because I have a Dad and a Father. I have been raised by a beautiful Man and given the genetic gifts from another.

To John and Michael, from the bottom of my heart, Happy Father's Day to you both.

Your Son could not be happier.